By Joy Etta
In October 2020, I packed my bags and boarded a plane to what has been my home for the last six months. I was scared and felt unprepared, although I had a journal full of topics such as “what to do as a student in the UK”. But I have never been one to shy away from a challenge, so I deduced to continuously remind myself why I was here.
I knew it would be a little harder to adjust to formal education, as I had been out of it for almost three years, so I armed myself with as much information as possible. I tend to micromanage things when uncertainty looms and as last year came with as much uncertainty as anyone could ever imagine, I was on overdrive. Amid the unending precariousness, I decided to commit myself to prepare for graduate school.
I started by reading articles from graduate students from all around the world. The most exciting thing about grad school is that everyone has a unique experience and I prepared for that. I read an article that explored some unique topics about the various reasons for attending grad school. The author mentioned that not everyone desired a distinction, and personal goals will have to be that, personal. Another writer’s advice was to keep a list of things that could never be compromised on. Things such as six hours of sleep, three meals, phone call to parents, a thirty-minute walk in fire or ice – whatever. According to them, these were non-negotiable regardless of the event and would contribute to your happiness and stability.
I resumed school late, so I spent the first two weeks catching up on everything I had missed. In addition, I was in self-isolation for two weeks and had very little interaction with other human beings. I can tell you right now that this was not a good thing, especially for a newcomer. Nevertheless, she persisted, right? The two weeks of isolation felt as though they would never end. But they did and I had to start lectures immediately.
Having been out of school for a while, when I had to attend classes, it was a tough hill to climb. Unfortunately, my first day did not go well. I was cold, the weather app said it was 11 degrees but I felt like I was in a freezer. Also, I had come prepared for a lecture unaware that the professor came in to answer questions. That was the most important reality check for me and I came up with a new strategy for subsequent classes.
The articles I read and people I spoke to about studying in the UK only prepared me for about a week here. I had to work hard to learn what I know now and although I was angry that I was unprepared for this big step, I also knew that I would have to gain experience if I wanted to achieve the goals in my pretty journal. Over the next couple of weeks, I had one goal in mind and worked at it every single day.
When December came around, about six weeks after my first class, I was exhausted. I had had lectures, coursework, seminars, workshops – the whole nine yards – and although I was getting rest during the weekends (Saturdays, really) I needed a break. Thankfully, December came with some of that but the weather, the weather was not doing it for me at all.
Often, I hypothesized that the worst thing to adapt to in the UK would be the weather, but nothing I imagined prepared me for what I had to experience. I had to move my workstation close to the heater because the rest of the room felt like a walk-in freezer. The new jumpers I bought also didn’t do much. I always had to brew a cup of coffee or tea every three hours.
The Christmas holiday in December was advertised as a ‘time to rest’, that was a hoax. I had three deadlines in January and two exams, so I knew that ‘rest’ would be a distant feeling. I had a timetable for all activities I had scheduled during the holidays but unfortunately, we were hit with severe restrictions and I scrapped my schedule to study, cooking and calling my friends. Without mincing words, Christmas was lonely. I had never been away from family during Christmas. Although, I was excited about being in a new country, I didn’t have many people to enjoy it with. Besides, the sun would set at about 3:30 pm, which was not the best feeling.
I spent the last few hours of 2020 with a friend, we drank some wine as we welcomed 2021. It’s nothing like being around family but it worked. January was unexpectedly interesting; it snowed – heavily and although I had reservations about the cold, being in it made me happy. My exams went better than I had expected, and I was confident that I had put my best foot forward.
February was uneventful. Semester 2 began, and I knew that I would have to get back to the swing of things. I found it harder to cope in February because all the classes I had were online. I do not think that education is meant to be done online, and even as an older student, I felt broken on some days because I had spent four days staring at my computer ‘learning’. The university provides professionals who assist students when they cannot cope, and I had to find someone.
Then, I had a bit of a rough time when it came to selecting a topic for my dissertation. I had countless sleepless nights and, on some days, I wanted to quit completely. My supervisor always had one thing he did not agree with within each document I presented to him. I knew he was not being unnecessarily nit-picky, but I didn’t think I could do the work that was required. Also, I had about three interviews leading up to the week I had to present my dissertation proposal. Then my Semester 1 results were released.
The results were a confidence boost for that whole week. However, I had to choose between tireless research for my dissertation proposal or prepare for a job interview. I made the right choice. My dissertation is worth 60 credit units and I knew more job interviews would come. The only thing I looked forward to in March was Spring Break; I felt like I had not thoroughly rested since January, and I did not like that. Spring in England is not quite Spring and everyone knows that; however, the most comforting thing about March/April was that the sun stayed up a lot more.
Easter soon came along and I found myself being lonely again; I always have family around me during Easter, but unlike Christmas, I could go out with friends. We went on a hike, had a picnic – with some biscuits, wine and music. We spent a long time together and that was fun. But schoolwork never ends and so each day of spring break was spent sorting out coursework, re-watching a seminar, signing up for a webinar, sending out a job application. And as much as I love going on trips with friends, I also had to constantly remind myself why I am here and how better I can achieve my goals.
It is difficult logging on to Zoom and Microsoft Teams for lectures, especially because I feel isolated, and that affects my mood all of the time. I try to counter this by taking long walks under the sun, sometimes running, but sometimes that is too much. However, the important thing is to take conscious steps in the right direction, and that is what I do. Like MLK said “… whatever you do you have to keep moving forward”, that’s my motto.
I know that some of you who are international students and potentially part of the Outliers circle (If you’re not, you should be. Thank me later) can relate to some, if not all my experiences. I’ve realised that whilst a lot of the factors I’ve talked about – weather, online classes, stress of masters – may not be in my control, I can actively try to build a community that makes things considerably easier. I cannot underestimate the effects of sharing experiences and gleaning encouragement from others in similar situations. The Outliers Circle – in particular has tons of amazing contributors and members that can provide help, advice, guidance, banter and friendship. In my opinion, this has – honestly and sincerely – made all the difference.
image from irishtimes.com