Networking has gotten a bad rap in the last couple of years, especially because the word has been over-flogged. It seems to be what people do to take advantage of others to get what they want. For this reason and more, many people avoid this.
To get ahead as professionals or even as students, you must make connections. Networking is not just a necessary evil. Here is where reframing comes in.
Reframing helps you see things from a different perspective. One way I like to reframe this when I fall into that trap of making connections is to think about where I can be useful to others and gain their genuine support also – In a “give and take way”.
The thought of networking may come with a lot of negative emotions – fear of meeting someone and making a fool of yourself, feeling like you’re not good enough, anxiety, sweaty palms, needles under your feet, etc. The only way to develop coping strategies to do this If you strip “networking” of its 21st century baggage, it is one of the best ways to connect with others.
Research shows the importance of weak ties. Most of the time, your best help comes from people willing to open their network to you.
How can you increase the number of weak ties or make connections? Here are some ideas:
- Volunteer – one way to do this is to seek groups of people with similar values.
- Practice making small talk. Talk about your hobbies as a way to break the ice and try to learn about other people’s hobbies also.
- Go out of your regular circle and get to meet others
- Seek groups of people with similar values. You will bond over things you have in common and can build stronger relationships that way
- Leverage social media – Use LinkedIn professionally, IG / Twitter for more informal conversations
- Find people with common ground as you: A good idea is to find people for example on LinkedIn who may have gone to the same Uni / Post graduate program as you have so that it is easier to already relate on a common experience
- Remember that practically everyone is uncomfortable with networking: Almost everyone testifies to being a bit uncomfortable at networking events and this includes the senior professionals others may be there to meet. Remembering this can help ease yourself a bit when we feel awkward about networking online or in person
- Find a balance between preparing discussion points but also allowing the conversation to follow naturally: Because of the general struggle with networking, it helps to prepare the key discussion points for networking coffees, catch ups and so on. You can prepare a super high level list of ideas you want to discuss or it could be a detailed list of questions you would like to ask. This is also a good way to ensure that you have a real goal for the connection and it’s not just ‘vibes’ LOL. On the other hand, prepare to have an open mind in case the conversation sways in a different direction and try to work with that
- When networking in a professional setting (for a new job or so) do some research on the role so that you have some context
- Ask a lot of questions: Like you have probably heard before, people like to talk about themselves, and therefore would like to be asked questions. Usually, when you may not have a lot of insight on a certain topic, you can just ask the speaker questions from the basic ones to the well thought out ones. A tip would be, depending on the environment, try to keep the questions really simple and avoid over-engineering them just to seem ‘smart’. Once again, this depends on the environment / seniority of the people being spoken to.
- Ask for another introduction: If it is helpful to you, take the opportunity to ask the other person for an introduction to someone else in their circle, organisation or network. They might be willing to make such an introduction otherwise they might just say ‘Oh I think you should talk to so and so’ and that works too because when you reach out to the next person, you can say ‘I spoke to so and so and they suggested I reach out to you’; this really helps as a good common ground to start off your next networking relationship.
Books that have golden nuggets for networking:
1. Give and take by Adam Grant
2. Never eat alone by Keith Ferrazzi and Tahl Raz
By Tosin & Joys
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